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Days Passed  (2018)

This series was created during a period in my life when I was taken over by an increasingly intense anxiety –unbearable but still changing in character. In order to take control of the situation and to make sure that the feeling was not a constant state, I began to visualize the experience in drawings. One drawing a day, where the variations in brightness and character corresponded to the varying intensity of anxiety during the day.

Some days the anxiety was underlying, uneasy. Other days it was desperate, intense and took possession of my whole body and breathing – an anxiety so severe that it was impossible to distract. There were also days when the anxiety could be likened to the panic of a nightmare, when in a free fall one realizes that the ground is approaching. Only that the liberation from the nightmare, the awakening, never occurred. Instead, the race was repeated time and time again, with renewed intensity, within just a few minutes. The drawings became a tool. They gave me an assurance that it was a temporary condition and they gave me the opportunity to visually review and observe the development. 

The hand became a seismograph of emotions.

 

Graphite on paper. In total 58 drawings, each 15x21 cm in size. 

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JAG HAR FALLIT EN TID NU

(I've Been Falling For Some Time Now)

(Text 2018)


 

“Have you ever experienced the feeling of falling? An uncontrollable and rapid fall? A bit similar to those nightmares many of us experienced at some point, only that you don’t wake up. You’re already awake. A despair similar to when you realize that the ground is coming closer, only that there is no ground to hit and the fall is continuous during the episode, until the anxiety fades. Anyone?

Over the years I’ve fallen, during some periods more than other. At worst the episodes were circular - just as the anxiety started to fade, it regained full energy.”

At the exhibition Jag har fallit en tid nu (I've Been Falling For Some Time Now) at Studio Ljusberg, Östersund 2022, I choose to display a selection of 12 drawings next to the slide show showing all 58 drawings. 

Selection of drawings

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